Can’t finish a yawn?

Is there more to it than that? Or are we connected to each other in ways we are unaware of :-O

Trouble having a good yawn?

Have you struggled to yawn . . . you want to yawn but it just doesn't make its way out of you?

Or maybe you can yawn but it's so half-hearted, it feels totally dissatisfying.

Issues related to yawning are actually an indication the autonomic nervous system is under functioning. 

One of the key roles the nervous system plays is to manage the charge in your body. 

That "charge" is the felt by you when you're nervous. It's also reflected in the vibrational quality of certain organs in your body including your heart and specific areas of the brain. 

You might also notice it as a felt sense of arousal in your body. Sometimes, that charge is high . . . so high, you feel quite tense. Regardless of whether you notice it or not, your nervous system is always humming in the background.

In the field of body psychotherapy, we refer to it as your "activation". So your activation can be low or high depending on how your nervous system is functioning. 

We also use the term 'setpoint' to refer to a baseline neutral state where your nervous system is in balance (or homeostasis). This is an energy efficient state that all organisms achieve.

By the way, this "nervous" energy is not only felt by tension and other sensations in your body, it's also precisely measured through your heart rate variability**.

**Heart rate variability is a physiological measure between heart beats. The higher your variability the healthier your autonomic nervous system.

How the nervous system "learns"

Your nervous system is like a sophisticated learning machine, constantly updating its operations based on your life experiences. Think of it as your body's security system - one that's been carefully programmed by every significant moment in your life.

Every experience you've had - from your earliest moments in the womb, through birth, and into your present life - has taught your nervous system what to expect from the world. These experiences create what we call your "activation level" or "setpoint" - essentially, your body's baseline state of readiness.

Here's how it works:

When you encounter situations that feel threatening (whether physically or emotionally):

• Your nervous system records these experiences
• It adjusts its baseline activation level upward
• It stays more alert, ready to protect you
• Your capacity to fully relax becomes limited

When you regularly experience safety and connection:

• Your nervous system learns the world is generally safe
• Your baseline activation level naturally lowers
• You can more easily move between alertness and relaxation
• Complete, satisfying yawns come naturally

Think about the difference between a cat in a loving home versus a stray cat. The house cat easily falls into deep sleep, stretches fully, and yawns completely. The stray, however, remains vigilant, never fully relaxing - because its nervous system has learned it needs to stay on guard.

Similarly, your ability to feel safe in your current life isn't just about your present circumstances - it's shaped by what your nervous system has learned through past experiences, especially through early relationships with parents and caregivers.

This learning is primarily physical, not mental. That's why simply understanding that you're safe isn't enough to change deep patterns of tension or anxiety. Your nervous system needs to learn safety through direct experience - much like learning to ride a bicycle or swim.

Learning to complete a yawn

Signs of an Overwhelmed System

Let's talk about how an overwhelmed nervous system shows up in your body - and why those incomplete yawns are telling us something important.

The Incomplete Yawn

Have you noticed how your yawns seem to get "stuck"? Maybe you feel the urge to yawn, but it just won't come out fully. Or perhaps when you do yawn, it feels unsatisfying - like an itch you can't quite scratch. This isn't just frustrating - it's your body telling you something important.

A complete yawn is one of your nervous system's natural ways of releasing tension. Think of it like a pressure valve: when working properly, it allows excess energy to flow out smoothly. But when your system is overwhelmed, this valve gets stuck partially closed.

Beyond the Yawn

An overwhelmed nervous system doesn't just affect your yawning. Here are other signs you might recognize:

• Tension that won't fully release, even when you try to relax
• Shoulders that seem fixed in an awkward position
• Breathing that stays shallow or feels restricted
• A constant sense of being "on edge"
• Difficulty settling down at night
• Feeling tired but wired

The Build-Up Effect

When your nervous system can't fully release, it's like a backup in your body's energy system. This accumulated tension can lead to:

• Anxiety: That jittery, restless feeling is actually backed-up energy looking for a way out
• Depression: When your system gets overwhelmed by held energy, it might shift into a shut-down state
• Sleep issues: Your body needs to feel safe to fully rest
• Digestive problems: Tension affects all your body's systems
• Muscle pain: Particularly in the jaw, neck, and shoulders

The shaky, tingling sensations you might feel during anxious moments? That's actually your body trying to release some of this backed-up energy. But when your nervous system is overwhelmed, even these natural release mechanisms get interrupted.

The Hidden Cost

Living with an overwhelmed nervous system is like trying to drive with the parking brake on. Everything takes more effort than it should. Simple relaxation becomes a challenge.

And those incomplete yawns? They're just the tip of the iceberg - a visible sign of a system that's working too hard to keep you safe.

The Path to Change: Rediscovering Your Natural Release

As a therapist specializing in somatic (body-based) approaches, I've witnessed something remarkable: people can rediscover their ability to yawn fully, and with it, their capacity to truly relax.

Let me share what I've learned about this journey of nervous system healing.

From Incomplete to Complete

One of the most fascinating "little gems" I've discovered in my practice is how yawning changes as healing progresses. It's like watching a flower slowly unfold:

• First, clients notice they can yawn more frequently
• Then, yawns become deeper, more complete
• Finally, they experience that delicious "after-yawn glow" - a natural wave of relaxation washing over their body

Think back to the last time you had a truly satisfying yawn. Remember that gentle, peaceful feeling afterward? That's your nervous system working exactly as nature intended.

Our bodies are designed to release tension naturally, just like our animal friends do.

How Real Change Happens

Through somatic therapy approaches like Self-Regulation Therapy, I work directly with your nervous system to:

• Gently release stored tension
• Reset your body's baseline activation level
• Rebuild your capacity for deep relaxation
• Restore natural release mechanisms like yawning, tingles, and subtle movements

You see, when clients come to see me for therapy, it's often quite evident that their nervous system is having trouble letting go. 

This isn't about forcing yourself to relax. Instead, it's about creating the conditions where relaxation happens naturally.

What Makes This Approach Different

Traditional approaches often focus on managing symptoms or changing thoughts. While these can be helpful, they may miss something crucial: your nervous system's need to feel safe at a fundamental level.

When we work somatically:

• We listen to your body's signals
• We move at a pace that feels safe
• We build capacity gradually
• We restore natural rhythm and regulation

It's like teaching a tight muscle to relax - not by forcing it, but by reminding it how to let go.

And . . . they can't let go into a good yawn. 

However, as our work proceeds, one thing always seems to happen—they're finally able to have a good yawn!

The Ripple Effect

The beauty of nervous system healing is how it affects every aspect of your life. Just as tension can restrict your yawn, it can restrict your capacity for joy, connection, and peaceful rest.

As your system learns to release and regulate, you're not just gaining the ability to yawn fully - you're expanding your capacity for a fuller, more relaxed life.

Remember: Your nervous system's current patterns took time to develop, and sustainable change takes time too.

But just like water gradually shapes stone, gentle, consistent attention to your nervous system creates profound transformation.